When asked if I'm a patient person, I often laugh and reply, "no." I struggle with patience, both being patient with myself and with others. I found myself the other day asking the same question I have asked numerous times, "how long Lord? How long will I have to endure this?"
One definition of patience is the ability to withstand for long periods of time suffering and opposition. It is the ability to persevere without wanting retaliation or revenge.
In recent weeks, my anxiety has been high, especially when I'm in the car. I continue to struggle with flashbacks from the car accident we were in last April, and have had to deal with various triggers that have brought on panic attacks. While traveling a few weeks ago, I found myself in a full panic attack. Unable to control myself or my surroundings, I was in a very vulnerable place. After the moment passed, I was grateful for two things, medication, and an acquaintance who could help ease my fears in that moment.
I spent time the next morning journaling and asking "why?" Wondering how much longer I have to deal with triggers, anxiety, and panic. I recognize there is no easy answer to my question, but in the process of asking I am learning to exercise patience. Now that doesn't mean there won't be times of frustration, believe me I get frustrated, however I also see the ways patience is being cultivated in my life.
In what ways is patience being tested in you? Is there a particular place in your life where you would like to see patience cultivated?
Lord, I pray for patience. Please send us your Spirit of Peace so that it can grow in our lives and we can move forward having patience both for ourselves and others. Amen.